Polishing A Turd, Or How Rick Rubin Has
The Midas Touch, And Metallica Should Bow
Down To Him
METALLICA
- Death Magnetic (Warner Bros.)
by Jay Mazeffect
Metallica has just released their tentative
"comeback" record. Now, I say "comeback"
loosely, 'cause well, they never went away.
They just downed a bottle of Suck (tm), and
frittered away every vestige of coolness that
they had stored up from yesteryear. I've never
seen a band so willfully piss away everything
that made them worthwhile since the heyday
of KISS. And I love KISS. But I digress...
A couple of years ago Metallica hoisted upon
the public a big pile of hamster vomit they
called "St. Anger". According to
Bob Rock, it was supposed to sound like "a
band jamming together in a garage for the
first time, and the band just happened to
be Metallica". In reality, it sounded
like a band that used to be leaders of the
pack, trend-setters and genre-definers, sounding
like old men trying to stay relevant by following
the abrasive sounds made popular in recent
years by bands like Slipknot and their ilk.
For Metallica, it was the equivalent of a
comedy cd. It was so bad that it breached
the spectrum, and became funny. Hell, even
the dvd that accompanied the album (it was
a live performance of the entire record) sounded
better than the clanging claptrap that was
"St. Anger". I don't even want to
bring up "Some Kind Of Monster".
That had to be the comedy film of 2004. Never
did any band go so far out of their way to
show how out of touch with reality they were.
Which brings us to today, and "Death
Magnetic", Metallica's last real chance
at relevance, after the downward spiral of
"Load", Reload", and "St.
Crapster".
When trying to resurrect one's musical career,
Lazarus style, there is only one name that
comes to mind. Rick Rubin. This guy has the
Midas touch when it comes to recording as
of late. He brought the Dixie Chicks out of
political exile and gave them a hit record.
He made the Jewish Elvis, Neil Diamond, a
force to be reckoned with on the charts again.
Who would've thought that would happen in
the new millennium? So Lars, James, and the
hired guns convinced Guru Rubin to polish
the turd that has become their creative output
lately, in an attempt to salvage their reputation,
their fans, and what I would assume is their
self-respect. No matter how out of touch Metallica
is with reality (and by watching "Monster"
you know they are way the fuck out there)
they had to be cognisant of how horrible and
damaging "St. Anger" was. So the
question at hand is "Did Rick Rubin save
Metallica?" The answer, my friends....is
"sorta".
Death Magnetic has some major things
going for it. First of all, clarity. The riffs
may be heavy, but they don't turn into sludge,
like most music played on guitars down-tuned
to a low C. There is bottom end to it, unlike
the sad fate of Jason's bass parts from "...And
Justice For All" (that and "Ride
The Lightening" being tied for my favorite
records by these gents). The guitar tones
are quite satisfactory. The drums sound like
a natural, real kit, not some over-produced,
triggered, uber-slick drum machine. They sound
"real". Lars has always suffered
from some of the shittiest drum production
I have ever heard. No one speaks of it much,
because, well, the songs were generally so
good it was overlooked. Rick Rubin still has
his touch when it comes to making anyone,
and I mean ANYONE, sound good musically. The
arrangements are long (most songs clocking
in at seven minutes or so) and it actually
works. Is it "..And Justice"? No.
Could they do that again? At this point, no.
Musically, is this the best we can hope for
from Metallica? Yes. Is that good or bad?
It's good. But that brings me to the flip
side of things....
Lyrically, it's kinda crap. James sings in
"The Day That Never Comes" that
"love is a four letter word". Wow.
The man who penned "Trapped Under Ice"
and "Master Of Puppets" has resorted
to that sort of cliche? I think James has
been tapped out. Fuck all, let Kirk write
some lyrics or something. I get the feeling
it would be an entertaining diatribe about
being held down by ego maniacal bastards,
and would most likely be the angriest song
the band has ever done. But anyhoo....the
vocals leave something to be desired, too.
They just sort of don't grab me. They aren't
as horrid as the vocals on "St. Anger",
but they aren't the best I've heard out of
James, either. He just doesn't seem to have
it in him so much anymore.
So what's the sum total of all of this? It's
about the best return to form we could hope
for out of Metallica. Rick Rubin did his job,
and made the most palpable album Lars &
Co. is capable of making in this day and age.
If they can maintain this sort of level of
quality for the rest of their career, then
it'll end on a good, maybe even a great, note.
An awesome, life-altering, Master Of Puppets
note? No. But a good note nonetheless, and
that's all any legends can hope for.
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